I've really neglected this blog over the past 2 months or so ... there is a reason why. I try to keep my posts on here mostly knitting focused, and not go into huge personal stuff, as that really isn't what I intended this blog for. But I figured I owed at least a brief post saying what's been going on.
Since mid-March, I've been having severe panic attacks that left me unable to get into work. All my old "don't tell, don't reach out for help" coping kicked in, so I pretended to the rest of the world that everything was fine, while the idea of even contacting my boss would leave me shaky, unable to breathe, sweating etc etc. Not good. And the end result was that I was fired on May 2nd.
This threw everything into turmoil, but has also had some really positive consequences. Firstly, I had to tell Terry what was going on - and she's been just amazing. Wonderful. The best partner I could have ever wanted. The fact that I was even too afraid to tell her what was going on is an indication of how skewed my perception of the world had got. Talking to my friends and family made me realise what an exceptional support network I have, and need to use.
Secondly: I'm now getting help from a variety of sources to deal with both the panic and the underlying stuff that triggered all this, and stopped me from getting the help I needed. I've put in an appeal to my job asking that my absence be taken as medical leave under the FMLA, and my termination be revoked. I don't know how long university bureaucracy will take to handle this; it's been a week so far, and nothing.
I guess that's the administrative system for you. But I have been knitting and have a bunch of pics to upload. My finished sockapalooza socks were sent off (and my pal left a lovely comment in my last blog entry). I received my own pair and they are just wonderful - I'm truly in awe of the construction and even tension and knitting technique. I've also started on an Aran cable sweater for my friend Gregg, and am halfway up the back. Plus today, because I wanted a change, I cast on for another pair of Broadripple socks in purple.
So now I've got all this out ... I'll make room for photos and stuff as soon as I can.